<

THE FORUM

Forum»Daily Discussion»My Logline Samples (UpDate)
My Logline Samples (UpDate)
Here are my logline samples. Please tell me which you like the best or what you would recommend?

TITLE: MID-LIFE CRISIS
LOGLINE: I am 44. What if I live to be 90?
LOGLINE 2: I am 44. I have achieved all my dreams. Now what do I do with the rest of my life? What if I live to be 90?
LOGLINE 3: I am 44. I am an overachiever who has achieved all my dreams. Now what do I do with the rest of my life? What if I live to be 90?
LOGLINE 4: I am 44. I am an overachiever who needs love but has achieved all my dreams. Now what do I do with the rest of my life? Do I choose love or keep making new goals? What if I live to be 90?
LOGLINE 5: What does an overachiever who needs love do with the rest of her life knowing she has hit her mid-life crisis?
Comment (6) Login to Reply privately Login to Report abuse
Daphne Lamm
Sherry, the problem is they're all taglines, not loglines. As a start, why don't you take a look at some loglines for existing movies/TV shows over at IMDb to get a better idea of the structure and the difference between the two "lines."
Login to Reply privately Login to Report abuse
265 week(s) ago
I agree. You can also go back to day one of the course and use the logline examples that was provided. That helped me when I had to redo my loglines.
Login to Reply privately Login to Report abuse
265 week(s) ago
First you have to define your genre, then you need to define the script parameters. All you have is a main character that is confused NO clear objective, obstacles or villain. You have to be able to summarize your story in a sentence. A question is not a summary.

If its a comedy try this:
An overachieving woman who has everything doesn't know what to do with herself and takes up with a charming man who is not what he seems and winds up starting civil war in a foreign country.

If its a horror try this:
An overachieving woman tries her hand at bio-chemistry and discovers that her professor is turning people into monsters in an effort to save the human race from pollution.

If its a drama:
A dying celebrity, infamous for causing the death of her husband, recants how her life could have turned out differently had she made several different choices in life.

Each of these have a goal, whether its survival or redemption. Each have obstacles such as overcoming boredom or defeating monsters. Each has a villain whether it was someone she knew or she herself. You have to decide what story you are going to tell.
Login to Reply privately Login to Report abuse
265 week(s) ago
A story is situation + characters. Your theme is mid-life crisis but you don't have a situation. Your Main Character explicitly has no goals. How could we fix that?

A story idea occurs to me as a situation, for example ISIS takes hostage a thousand tourists in a hotel, plane crash survivors in a life raft in the freezing North Pacific, the CEO of the world's biggest internet company has a stroke and although her brain is still sharp she's being treated as a child. You have to have what indie film maker Heinrich Dahms calls "a bitch of a dramatic dilemma." Start by thinking what is the worst thing that could happen to your Main Character, from her point of view, and think of ways to make it even worse. She hates losing, so make her lose. She thinks love is only a distraction from the main prize, so make her fall in love, and to turn the screws tighter, make her fall in love with the panhandler she ignores every day on her way into work.

It's unrealistic to suppose that overachievers ever run out of goals. Usually they are selfish goals, so if you want to write human drama, she could rescue her drug-addict grandson, having to get down and dirty to do so. She could back a private space venture that she's unaware is actually developing an intercontinental nuclear missile aimed at Washington. Okay, so nobody cares what happens to Washington anymore, make it New York.

I'm sorry, but your human-interest story about a woman at the top with no way left to go but down is too generic. Rediscovering childhood goals or a childhood sweetheart has been done over and over. Take away all the props beneath her and make her start at the beginning again.

Always look for stereotypes and turn them upside down. Your Main Character is rich, beautiful, ruthless, workaholic, and has a gym-honed body that can pull teenage boys. That's a stereotype. Give her Tourette Syndrome or something.

Login to Reply privately Login to Report abuse
265 week(s) ago
How the HECK did I get logged in as MirJana Sajkovic?
Login to Reply privately Login to Report abuse
265 week(s) ago
Deborah Stokes
Sherry, the logline should contain the character, what they want, and what's stopping them from getting it. It should be in as few words as possible.
Login to Reply privately Login to Report abuse
265 week(s) ago

To add a comment, please, log in first.

Login