The Biggest Mistake Writers Make

As a writing coach, one of the biggest mistakes I see writers make, is that they try to write their story before they’ve given themselves the proper time and space to go deep and truly know their story.
 

They expect themselves to somehow go straight from having an idea, to writing pages that flow out looking close to a near perfect and layered final draft. And when they inevitably fail at this, they decide it’s because they don’t have talent.
 

But it doesn’t have anything to do with having talent. It has to do with the fact that they’re trying to climb Mt Everest, in a day, and actually expecting that it's going to work.
 

I totally get why writers do this to themselves. We live in a world that tells us it’s only the finished product that matters. That the product is where the validation is.
 

In fact, it’s implied that we really only matter, or have anything important to say, when we can prove it, in the form of a well written book or script.
 

Or hell, maybe we only really matter when that book or script has sold millions.
 

Short of that, we will always just be imposters. Not even allowed to call ourselves writers. But this is nonsense.
 

With that brand of pervasive thinking, who could blame a writer for feeling like they need to hammer through and speed things up? For beating themselves up every step of the way until they get there. For feeling frustrated, instead of excited, when they realize there is so much more to discover, before they can add to that word/page count. For feeling mad, instead of inspired, when new ideas flood in, that make them realize they might need to go back to the drawing board with more revisions.
 

Inside of this mindset, the whole messy process (thats necessary with writing) feels like it's in the way. And too many are miserable the entire time they are trying to get to that coveted moment of having a finished book or script. They want to get to that place that will prove that all their energy/dollars they spent on development, were worth it. They want to get to other side of the pain of not being finished. Quick.
 

If this sounds like you, then as a writing coach, and fellow writer who has most certainly been there, I’m here to tell you, STOP IT. I'm serious.
 

If you want to be a great writer who writes truly memorable scripts/books then give yourself and your stories the proper time and space they need in order to be great.
 

Take the pressure off by letting go of this idea that your writing pursuits are going to lead anywhere quick, because 99% of the time they won’t. You need not make any apologies for it.
 

Often the best stories come out in their own time. Not yours. And it’s likely your unrealistic expectations about how long it "should" take that is the real cause around any love/hate relationship you might have with your writing.
 

I laugh when I see these “how to write a book in 30 days” ads. Yeah, I’ll show you how to write a forgettable book in 30 days. In fact, why not skip it all, and just use AI to write a book in 30 seconds, if speed is your thing? When does the ridiculousness end?
 

In my opinion, the only story worth writing is the one you are willing to spend copious amounts of time getting to know, for however long it requires you to, before you sail headlong into writing the pages and delivering the ultimate product.
 

It should be a story that challenges you. That forces you to take the time to look at all the possibilities. Causes you to research. To imagine. To daydream. To get off track, and find your way back. One that refuses to be tamped down, until you've seen it from all the angles and POV's. Forces you to keep developing those characters until they finally feel so real and authentic that they start bossing you around and arguing with each other.
 

A story that forces you to grow. Takes you on an adventure. Moves you. Confronts you. Distracts you. Causes you to get to the heart of something rich and deep that you didn’t even know you could get to the heart of. Making you a better, wiser person for having done so.
 

A story that tells you when you're ready to finally start writing those pages. Because the best angle for telling it, suddenly becomes crystal clear.
 

When you give yourself the gift of waiting to get to that place, it becomes a joy to write those pages. The heavy lifting is done. It's as if you're telling a story from memory. As if it happened. And therefore you're free to to flow with it. To focus on style, tone and flair with your delivery. Giving each character their own unique voice.

And the best news is, If you do all that, then for you, that finished product (that used to be the most coveted thing) will be extra. Sure, you’ll be excited to potentially share it with the world. Hoping it moves perfect strangers, the way it did you. And hopefully make some money. But at that point, you'll know that the journey, and what it pulled from you, was the true reward. The guaranteed success that was built in. The rest is just gravy.
 

***Holly Payberg-Torroija is a writing coach and partner at Humans on The Verge where she guides writers through her signature curriculum, Loving The Process. To find out more about her programs and upcoming retreats click HERE.